With Love & Blessings, From: your Mom-in-law

“Arpitaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa” … the shriek rang thru our house one June morning !! Thinking of all possible bad things that can come to mind in a split second, I ran out to see what had happened to my hubby. Much to my annoyance (which later turned to amusement), I saw him happily sitting amidst colourful wrapping paper, gurgling like a child, holding up “goodies” that he had just received by courier .. he was delighted.

Like a child learning his first words he read out that its been sent by my mom for “Jamai Shoshthi”. And there were presents for me too.. And the subsequent Bong treat that he got at night, on his first “Jamai Shoshthi”, left him so happy that while he thanked my mom over the phone at night, he sheepishly asked “does this happen every year or its only in the first year of marriage”.. the indulgent mom-in-law assured him that this is an annual custom .. could see the content excited glow on my hubby’s face :)

You must be wondering what’s all the melodrama about .. just as I had wondered.. till I realized that what is a purrrrfectly normal custom for me is great delight / amazement for my hubby… okk lemme explain..

My Maharashtrian hubby is married to a Bong girl (yup yup that’s me of course) and so he gets to enjoy all the love & blessings that a doting Bengali mother-in-law showers on her beloved son-in-law .. & my mom takes extra special care so that her son-in-law can enjoy Bong customs to the fullest. Phewwwww….

Jamai Shoshthi - Might sound like a tongue twister to those not initiated to Bengali .. but it is one of the most cherished traditions that have been passed down the ages from one mom-in-law to the next .. oh before I proceed .. “Jamai” in Bengali means son-in-law & “Shoshthi” means … ah well … we have Goddess Shoshthi who is usually worshipped by the women folk of the family for the goodwill of their children. And the “jamai” is of course an additional child for the mom-in-law.

In essence, this is a day in the 2nd month of the Bong calendar (called “Jaistha”) when the Bengali son-in-law is welcomed with much fanfare at his wife’s place (his shoshur-bari) .. he is usually presented with some 5 fruits and is blessed with “dhaan-dubbo” (umm … that is paddy & couch grass for you and is considered extremely auspicious by us) .. A blessing of curd on his forehead and a string covered with haldi tied around his wrist marks his reception.

He is then treated like an emperor to his favourite delicacies, prepared meticulously by the mom-in-law!! The “center of attention” (literally) was made to hog in all awkwardness as the family bestowed their undivided attention on him and goaded him on, the youngsters gaping at this “Bakhra” (scapegoat) and the young girls stifling their giggles. To top it all, the mom-in-law of yore used to sit next to the “jamai”, heaping food on to his already overflowing plate & fanning him with a hand-fan made of palm leaf!! Am sure it took a good few “Jamai Shoshthis” for the son-in-law to gradually acclimatize to all this attention and then actually start relishing both the attention & the food :)

In fact there’s usually a big plate laid out with “gaw-roam ghee bhaat” (rice with hot ghee) or “pulao” (special rice with vegetables), and surrounded by bowls of the yummiest Bong dishes. The non-veg menu usually includes “hilsa”, the succulent fish that hits Bong markets at this time of the year, prawn and other fish dishes & mutton … often accompanied by “luchi”, our patent flour “poori” ..

& just when the son-in-law is bursting at the seams .. u end the grand feast with a flourish of “misthi doi” (sweet curd), rosogollas and of course special “Jamai Shoshthi” sandesh (sweetmeat). Oh the “mishti paan” (sweet beetel leaf) of course was given at the end of the meal to aid digestion - sure would need that.

*Advice to my hubby - if you are present in person to enjoy a "jamai shoshthi" meal, please dont eat for the previous 2 days ;)

Well this whole custom is supposedly to ensure that he treats their daughter with due respect whole year … ahem hubby … hope u r tuned it ;) .. kidding.

Since we live in different cities, my mom treated her emperor son-in-law with a long-distance treat.. basically I had to take him out to a Bong restaurant & stuff him with the Bong delicacies … which he relished so so so very much that he immediately planned the next visit here ..

Well although this is meant for the sons-in-law, my sweet mother always ensures equality of the sexes … & so I was also loaded with goodies & treated to a royal feast … I love u Ma… :)